Longing vs. Living
There are times in life when I pause and think about that person. You know, the one you might be with, belong to, love. I sit and wonder if there is someone I will meet someday that will touch my heart and change the rest of my life.
It’s not a name or a face or a particular someone. Just the idea, the thought of them.
And while I think it would be wonderful, and while I think it would be good, it’s not guaranteed that is God’s plan for me. Honestly, a romantic relationship is not a reality in my life. I am at peace with that, and there’s a really good reason why. So I guess that’s why I’m writing about it, to share.
Sometimes I’ve felt lonely, and I wanted companionship and affection. And the best thing to do in that time is not to be self-focused, but others-focused. To see how I can give, and how I can bless, and not just seek to meet my own needs. I realize it is better to trust God, rely on Him, and have faith in Him to provide. He never leaves us wanting (Psalm 23:1).
I honestly think that while it is hard to have desire for a romantic relationship at times and not have one, it’s much harder when I lose perspective. Which is why it’s so important to be close to Him and listen to Him daily, so I can hear His voice and keep my eyes fixed on Him above all else.
I am aware every day is a gift, and to live it to the fullest. I am not promised tomorrow or the next day, and so I should make the most of today, and the time I have now, to life for what really matters. What really matters to me is the day I get to be with Jesus face-to-face, and that I live for eternal, not temporary things. People matter. Their hearts and hurts matter. From beginning to end, they matter.
When it comes down to it, I just want to be faithful with what the Lord has given me now, and thankful. I want to learn how to honor my brothers and sisters in Christ, to build them up, to love them with a pure, deep love from God’s heart. I want to give every breath I have in this body for the kingdom. I want to become more like Christ and introduce who He is to others, that they would know Him. I want to know Him more, so much more.
God has just been showing me that He is inviting me on this incredible journey every day with Him, and if I simply follow as He leads, there is nothing that compares to that. Loving God, being loved by God, and overflowing that love to others. Whether single or in a relationship or married, God be glorified.
I’ve wasted a lot of time on myself and being concerned over getting what I hope to have happen in my life. And really all I care about now is that people know the love of God and live in that reality, that they know who He is, and that it changes their lives forever.
I want to make all the difference I can make, by the power of the Holy Spirit. God has a lot to work on in my heart, I have a lot of growing and maturing to do, but I am willing because it’s worth it. Selfishness has kept me back at times, and I hope no longer that will ever be the case. There are such greater things God has in store, and I am so excited to see what He will do. No, it won’t be easy, but it will be amazing and worth it.
We could spend our days waiting and longing, or we can pursue the Lord with abandon and surrender everything in our lives to His care. It doesn’t mean that longing is gone. It just means it is entrusted in the the one who is Faithful and Good, and I can be at peace knowing that. I can leave it in His hands.
And just watch. He is going to do some incredible things. And it will be better than I could have chosen on my own. It will be better than I can imagine now. Because He is greater, His purposes are greater, and life with Him is abundant.